The second day is always the hardest.

Today's comic strip review:

Sally Forth:
Ted wins a bet about Sally's sister's philandering. High five, Ted!

Jump Start:
Looks like JoJo went with the trash flowers. And I guess he does have a wife.

Crankshaft:
We get a healthy helping of old man boobs and a hint of asscrack. Enjoy breakfast, everyone!

Born Loser:
Diss on Grandma! High five, Brutus!

Hagar:
What do you think Viking beer tastes like? Remember, it's probably warm.

Blondie:
Dagwood's in his undies. At least, unlike Crankshaft, he wears a shirt.

Beetle Bailey:
Careless disregard of possibly sensitive military paperwork.

Mary Worth:
Mary's thought balloons will serve as my moral compass today.

Marmaduke:
Today features Marmaduke acting like people.

Speed Bump:
Don't read if you're a boring person.

Free Range:
Twist on guru/mountain scenario.

The Pajama Diaries:
Still "At the Hematologist's". Crap!

Get Fuzzy:
More hugs.

Wizard of Id:
The King of Id will soon realize that his chief of police is an escaped Nazi war criminal.

Judge Parker:
Definitely a Lexus. Also, I'm pretty sure at this point that the Judge is the one with the crew cut.

Peanuts:
Pep talk gone wrong.

Dilbert:
Dilbert IN DA CLUB

Garfield:
Looks like it's "Garfield Talks to the Big Purple Dog Week"!

Zits:
If only Jeremy's poor parents had some control over his technological consumption.

Doonesbury:
Still haven't figured out what we're referencing here.

Prickly City:
Get it? It sucks to fly!

Pearls Before Swine:
French joke.

Rhymes with Orange:
Someone will have to explain this one to me. I really don't get it.

Non Sequitur:
The space constraints in newspapers force artists to draw people sitting about two feet from a large-screen TV.

The Amazing Spider-Man:
Ha ha! The hobo guy DID take the dinosaur head! Expect him to make threats until... Saturday.

Bizarro:
Can't find the pie.

Today's Alternative Family Circus Caption:
"I'm not talking until my lawyer's here."

Real Life Adventures:
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't look like Gary Wise or Lance Aldrich are familiar with the cost of retaining a tax lawyer.

Frazz:
Where do these kids always find Frazz? Do they spill things just so he shows up for some philosophy?

Funky Winkerbean:
"Our Lady of Three-Pointers". I've seen their graduates at roller derby. Be afraid.